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Calling her his “biggest crush since high school” on Twitter, Ryan Lochte was all over Carmen Electra at Bootsy Bellows in Hollywood on Tuesday night. E! reports:

“They were in a booth together and he had his arm around her and they were kissing on the lips. At one point, they were standing up and kissing and everyone saw them.” The eyewitness at the club adds, “They did not leave together, and I am not sure if they will see each other again. But they have been tweeting and instagraming back and forth.”

Carmen Electra’s exes include Dennis Rodman, Dave Navarro, and most of Vegas, so she seems to have a certain type. Hopefully she’ll put it all together one day and date somebody actually named “Douche”.

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On August 11th, Chad Johnson was arrested for allegedly headbutting his wife Evelyn Lozada after she found a condom receipt in his car. The next day he was cut by the Miami Dolphins. Today he was officially charged with misdemeanor battery.
rel=”nofollow”>TMZ reports:

Chad Johnson has officially been charged with misdemeanor battery after allegedly headbutting his wife Evelyn Lozada during a nuclear argument last month, this according to the State Attorney for Broward County, Florida. If convicted, Chad faces up to a year in jail.

Evelyn has filed for divorce, but Chad refused to sign because he states he’s still in love with her. But she’s now in love with half his money. If you’re gonna buy condoms, at least fill them with water or whip cream in front of your wife. Or I don’t know. I guess all we really know for sure is that Chad Johnson is a dumbass.

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Miami Dolphins receiver Chad Johnson was arrested Saturday night for domestic battery after he head-butted his wife and star of VH1′s “Basketball Wives”, Evelyn Lozada. TMZ reports:

Law enforcement sources tell us Johnson allegedly head-butted Lozada during an argument, and when cops arrived to the scene, Lozada had lacerations on her forehead. Our sources say Lozada has been at the hospital for several hours. According to our sources, the fight started when Lozada found a receipt for condoms in the center of the couple’s Maserati and confronted Johnson about it. A verbal argument ensued. We’re told at some point during the argument, Johnson head-butted Lozada. According to reports, Johnson told police he butted heads with Lozada by accident. Johnson is reportedly still in custody and will have to go before a judge before he can be released. Johnson and Lozada were married last month after Johnson proposed in November 2010 with a massive 10-carat diamond ring.

Then, you know, he lost his job. ESPN reports:

As the Miami Dolphins took the field for practice Sunday, Chad Johnson was getting out of jail. Hours later, he was out of work. The Dolphins terminated the six-time Pro Bowl receiver’s contract about 24 hours after he was arrested in a domestic battery case involving his wife.

So to recap, he bought condoms not use on her then put her in the hospital because she confronted him about it. You can read that sentence as many times as you want. Trust me, it still won’t make any sense.

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